


Leave A Message

by fitzpleasure



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, M/M, mention of cheating but not the main pairing, mentions of drug use, sad!harry, teen angst more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25177810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitzpleasure/pseuds/fitzpleasure
Summary: There are a lot of things that went wrong in Harry's life, and he just wanted to make this one thing right. If only Louis could just pick up his phone.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 21





	Leave A Message

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mentions of drug use and cheating although none involved the main characters.

_”Hi, you’ve reached Louis! I’m either busy or just don’t want to talk to you right now, so just leave a message after the BEEEEP!”_

It was incredibly cold out on the street that night. The wind was blowing hard and the street lamps emitted only a weak glow as people walked underneath them, clenching on to their coats to keep themselves warm as they take long and fast strides, trying to go back to the warmth of their houses as fast as they could. But Harry didn’t want to go back to his house anytime soon. Not now at least.

He watched from the corner of the street as people walked in different directions in front of him. He left the house in a hurry about 15 minutes ago, which explained why he was only wearing a thin white t-shirt and jeans. He cursed under his breath as a wind blew past him and made his body shiver.

He pulled down the beanie on his head - the only thing that kept him from freezing - as his other hand pulled his phone closer to his ear when he heard the familiar voice coming out of the speaker.

He waited until the beep came up and started talking.

“Hey, Lou,” his voice quivered from the cold. “It’s me,” he paused for a while before he realized that he actually had no idea of what to say to him. Harry left the house with a lot of emotions that was driving him crazy that he unconsciously picked up his phone and dialed the familiar number. He hadn’t think through of what to say to Louis, especially after everything that had happened between them.

“L-listen,” he started to talk again, “I’m sorry about what I did last night, okay? I.. I just don’t… Can you just call me, please? I just… I just really need to talk to you right now. Call me,” he hung up.

The wind was getting colder as the number of people on the street was decreasing in number. Harry decided to walk and find a warm place to go before he could die out of the cold outside. It’s a school night, and most people who were out on the street are old men who just came back from work and occasionally, college students. When he passed small streets Harry could see call-girls waiting for their clients, some of them even tried to flirt with him, but he just shook his head politely and continue walking. 

The phone was still on his hand when he arrived at a junction. He picked it up once again and dialed the number.

_“Hi, you’ve reached Louis! …”_

He waited patiently until the beep and started talking, “Louis, I’m really really sorry, alright? I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve said last night. Just please call me. Things aren’t good at home and I just found drugs on Gemma’s room and my parents kept on shouting… I.. I just want to talk to you,” and once again he hung up, this time with tears in his eyes. 

Harry wiped it off before it could fall down. The clock on his phone said it’s a quarter past 11. To the left he could see that the road was leading to the main street. He could see bright lights from the cars passing at the end of the road. To his right the street was nearly deserted, and the end was dark. But not far from where he was standing was a stair that would lead him down to the underground train station. He opted for the latter.

He wasn’t lying when he said to Louis that he was sorry or when he said that things aren’t going well in his house. It has been more than a couple of months eversince his mom and his step dad started fighting. His mom suspected his step dad of cheating with his new young secretary, which, of course, he denied. It sounded a bit absurd at first to Harry because his step dad didn’t strike him as the cheating type. But then his mom started to collect evidences - a bill of a pair of expensive shoes on their credit card although his mom never bought one, a lipstick stain on his dad’s shirt collar. And as his mom got even more evidences, the more he saw her suffer. He would find her crying in her room in the morning when his dad is at work, and when he came back they would start yelling to each other and at times he would find his dad sleeping in the couch the next morning. 

It made him feel helpless to see his own mother suffer like that and he couldn’t think of something that he could do. He tried to turn to Gemma but she’s always either out with her friends or locked herself in her room. She’s not handling this better than him.

And then there’s Louis.

There’s not a single thing in the world that Harry didn’t tell to Louis. Even the fact that one of his uncles has a really bad breath, no matter how unimportant it is. They’ve been friends ever since they were 14 and they know each other really well. But whenever Harry tried to tell Louis about his parents, he would find himself backing away, not wanting to say a word. Both of their parents have been divorced, and although Louis admitted that the thought of having a step dad scared him a bit, Harry loves his, which Louis never understand why. “He’s not that bad,” Harry would say whenever Louis asked him. “At least he made Mum happy.”

“But now he doesn’t anymore, does he?” Harry muttered under his breath as the image of his mom crying on her bed invaded his thought. He walked down the steps to the station, each step dragging him under. 

It was really bright in the station. Brighter than the road upstairs. It was also a lot warmer although not warm enough, but Harry stopped shivering slightly. There weren’t a lot of people either in the station, but it’s still more than the people that he saw on the street. 

He leaned his head on one of the walls of the station, its paint already peeling off. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as a train came.

_“Hi, you’ve reached…”_

“It’s me again,” Harry said softly before he took a deep breath. “About last night, I didn’t mean what I say. I was drunk and stressed out. I don’t think I even remember half of the things that I had said- not that I don’t remember our conversation! I do! Every single detail of it! It’s just the time before that, I can’t really remember what I said and done with you.. to you… and I just..” Harry paused for a while, not really sure how to continue. But before he could say anything more, all of the sudden the beep came up again and he jumped up from where he was standing. He reached the time limit.

He dialed the number again and impatiently waited until the beep before continuing, “I just.. I just need time to think, Louis. Things have been hard and this isn’t making anything easier. I just can’t… decide like that, okay? I’ve never felt like this before and it’s scaring me okay. And I’m.. I’m not.. I’m not even sure yet!” Harry was talking so fast by now that he ran out of breath at the end of his sentence. He calmed himself down before he talked again, this time his voice soft and low,

“Just call me.. I really need you.”

And he pressed the ‘end call’ button and there went his message. 

Harry tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he felt again that urge to cry, his hand and body were shaking and his cheeks red. He took deep breaths and count to 10 before he picked up his phone, once again, and click call. The train before had went away, but another train came. 

_“Hi, you’ve reached Louis! I’m either busy or just don’t want to talk to you right now, so just leave a message after the BEEEEP!”_

Last night Harry had called Louis from his room, when his parents were shouting their heads off at each other downstairs. Louis picked up, and Harry told him that he’s bored and before he knew it they were already at a bar near the Tomlinson’s household, drinking as many beer as their money could pay and it didn’t take long before they finally gotten ridiculously drunk. Apparently, Harry had brought with him a month’s worth of his pocket money.

“Hey,” Harry said to the phone after the beep, his voice shaking from holding back tears. “I don’t want to get cut off again so I’m just going to make this short.”

Drunk Louis and Harry would only lead to one thing: total chaos. They’re already troublemakers when they’re sober let alone when they’re drunk out of their minds. So after nearly setting fire to a table in the bar because Louis thought it would be funny, the bouncer kicked them out and soon they were already staggering out on the street, trying to drag themselves back to Louis’ house. Under the moonlight, Harry could see that Louis was beaming, his cheeks were red, and his eyes fluttered softly. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he ever see, but he shoved the thought to the back of his mind when he realized that it’s wrong. They’re best friends. You’re not supposed to feel this way to your best friend. 

“Last night,” Harry said as he watched the train took off, and the station went silent once again. “When we got out of the bar, you remind me of when the first time we met. That night during the school dance, you were standing outside of the dance hall, already drunk with a bottle in your hand. I asked you why you weren’t inside dancing and you told me that you don’t want to dance with those girls because you’re not interested in them.” Harry remembered that night like the back of his hand, the memory still etched in his brain. “I didn’t really realize what you mean by that at the time- hell, I didn’t even realize it after all of these years we spend together,” he could feel a lump rising on his throat, and tears were already filling his eyes. “But all I realize at that night was how beautiful you look under the moonlight. And I told myself that it’s wrong to think like that. I mean you’re my best friend. but I just can’t help it. And yesterday, I saw that again. That warm glow in you that I saw on that first day we met,” Harry took a deep breath and wiped a tear that already fell out of his eyes. He was surprised that the phone hadn’t cut him off yet, but he wasn’t intending to get cut off so he continued hurriedly.

“And last night, last night you told me that… that you love me and all of these make sense. I’ve always wondered why you never have a girlfriend, and why you like to wear bright-coloured pants,” Harry smiled at his own joke. “I’m sorry, I’m not supposed to be joking right now. But, all I want to say is that I.. perhaps I.. I feel the same way as you too. Or at least I thought I am, and I hope I really am because I don’t really know if liking a guy feels the same as liking a girl,” Harry cleared his throat and continued, “But all I know is that I want to be with you. I need you, Louis. And not just in the bad times, but also in good times. And perhaps, maybe, we could take this slowly… I mean if you want to. I mean after all the things that I said to you last night, I’m pretty convinced that you hate me.”

The station was nearly deserted by now. While Harry was busy talking, two trains had came and went, and now there were only around 10 people there, all staying at different corners minding their own business. It was so silent and peaceful.

“Last night, I’m sorry that I shouted at you. I bet it took a whole lot of guts for you to tell it to me and I just shouted at you and I guess that’s incredibly rude and I’m really sorry I just don’t know what to do. I’m surprised Louis, I really am. And I guess I panicked.”

Another train came but this time it didn’t stop. It just went straight pass the station and soon it’s gone.

“I love you, Louis,” Harry’s voice was clear yet vulnerable. He had stopped shaking but his lips were quivering. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. “And I’m sorry because I freaked out last night. I didn’t mean it and I hope you would forgive me,” he took one last deep breath before he finally said, “call me, okay?”

_BEEPP_

“Love you,” he whispered to the phone even though he knew Louis won’t hear that. 

The phone call had drained out the last of his energy that Harry could feel his legs trembling before he gave in and collapse down to the floor. He pulled his legs to his chest and close his eyes. He felt tired but relieved, as if a large weight that he had been carrying around was finally taken off from his shoulders. He knew that his relationship with Louis was something more, but he was too afraid to point that out. All this time he kept on leaving voice messages to Louis, he hadn’t even think of what Louis respond might be. But he didn’t care, at least not by now, because he had finally told him everything and he felt relieved. And he would go home and talk to his mom about everything and maybe they would work a way out. They always will. Her mom managed to get through her first divorce, and this time Harry would be there with her. There’s no way he’s letting his mom stay with that awful man.

But right now all he wanted to do was to rest in the quiet station for a while before he would go up and face the real world. He deserved that.

Harry was drifting asleep in the peaceful silent when all of a sudden the phone in his lap buzzed and shook him awake. Half asleep, he picked it up to see who was calling. It took him a full 2 seconds before he recognized the name on the dial screen and a smile spread through his lips.

For the first time that night Harry felt warm, and content, and his body shook with excitement as he saw the name flashing across his mobile screen in capital letters,

_‘LOUIS’_

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, this is one of the fics that I found on my old hard drive. I wrote this one in 2013 and completely forgot about it, so I was surprised to find it to be actually decent (not tooting my own horn here lol). So I thought I might share. Hope you enjoyed it! :)


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